I am a....

City of Fire\m/, State of Revolution\m/, India

Bindaas Thankam

Bindaas Thankam
"You got to have an eye to capture life!"-Thankam Kumaran

Friday, December 28, 2007

oh baby





Oh baby!
Why do i have to cry?
Why are we on this painfull ride?
Can't let you go..
Lost in the memories
I only think of you..
Thinking about the times
When i use to smile
Cos you were by me side
You use to keep me warm
Kept me away from the worldly harm
Now i am lost without you....
I cry..thinkin about you and I
We had walked for a while
and parted...without a goobye
Time played it's game
You forgot even my name
There were hours you would gaze my face
Now you forgot the lovely embrace
The days you were mine
You called me your sunshine
Now You left me in dark
Oh lord Can't stay apart
Want to run back to you
Cos I am feeling blue
Please baby understand
I am your lady,take my hand
Can there be hope in this darkest night
Can you be mine and everything will be fine
I don't want to run anymore
Please baby open the door
We can dance again
In that lovely rain
Baby please turn back
You are the only one i have
Do you remember how we use to love?
Do you remember how we use to kiss?
Do you remember Us?
Oh baby please understand
Don't leave me,give love a chance!

Friday, September 7, 2007

Composing the new life song...









While composing the new life song,
Words don't seem to come around.
Sometimes,i can feel them.
Sometimes,i fear they will be found.
Every effort is lost in desperation.
I play a song for inspiration.
Lost in the backwaters of my life,
A flashback reminds....
They were never meant to be mine.
The melody i wanted to hear,
Looked for your dependency dear.
But,it turned into a tragedy,oh my fear!
Didn't wanted to sound sophisticated,
Not even philosophical,
All was ever wanted was it to be natural.
Thousands of words now stinging like bee,
Can a song ever describe me??
I am still looking for that faded chance,
To be with my love for that one dance.
I try to hit all the chords,
All fade in vain,oh my lord!
I try to listen to what you had to say,
"Swords will sling,but you will be mine one day."
I climb on the notes of my life,
Just to read once more,just to give a try.
I can hum that old forgotten tune
That now makes me so blue.
I just have to change it's chords,
Will this be my new composition,oh god.
Letting go of the old melody,
Sometimes feels like a tragedy,
But sometimes one has to let go
So,that the new dream can be sowed...

Sunday, August 26, 2007

My love is a personal poem...












A poets' heart is a cage,
Where he learns to sing his emotions.
I learnt to sing my sorrows.
I buried my pain.
I forgave those who cut my wings.
I ended my dreams.
My hazel eyes learnt to shine through the darkness
and put a smile on those crimson lips.
I did everything,but i could not erase,
The love,i love truley.
My love is a personal poem,
Where truth and honesty form the verses,
Where sorrow and happiness learn to rhyme.
Love brought me hope.
Love wiped my past.
Love healed my wounds.
My love is love not madness.
The love i love,i love truely.
I don't stand to explain,
To those who blinded faith in me
I don't stand here to plead infront of them,
But,i ask to see love as love and only love.
cos
My love is a personal poem,
Where truth and honesty form the verses,
Where sorrow and happiness learn to rhyme.

Maa You Are There!!












Often when things go wrong,
I am lost and i fall for a sad song,
I get confused,go round in a twirl,
Feel scared,feel the chills.
But,don't know where to find the comforting wings!!
Heart looks here,it looks everywhere...
-Then Maa is there,and Maa alone is everywhere.
Yes!She is there!
Opening my blinded mind
Oh,I can see her stand by my side-
She gives me a helping hand
Lends me a sympathetic ear,
Talks me little soothings
Enlightening my soul and spirit.
She tells me,i am a precious gift of god,
She wants me to always smile,
And to keep my head high.
To never fall on anyone's feet
To Always remain true,
To Always be connected to my spirit
To Always be pure.
And in her sweet gestures here and there
Oh!how she shows that she cares.
The invisible touch holds me strong,
Holds me enough before i fall.
Then,i feel the world is not glummy after all.
All the darkness was because of my insecurities,
Her blessings brings me sureties.

Even when time has slipped by like the blazing sand,
I know,you are always there to hold my hand.
I find in you-
A friend,a philosopher and a guide
While at times,a typical tailor made authoritarian Mother!
I can never know or paint the reality of you.
All i know and can say-
You are my soothing cushion,
To rest my worries and fears.
You are my safe den
To keep me safe from harm
You are my warm blanket,
To keep me warm from the cold world.
A gift of god to every child.
Even though you are far across,
Your being surrendered to lord.
I only ask,
You to be always there.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Lost Soul And Lonely Heart.........




Lost soul and Lonely heart
Has walked for million hours
Without any hope,no one to take charge
Drifted from world,life will slip at any hour

Lost soul searches for the only one
Lonely heart knows she is done
Looking in the past the picture is clear
Everyone had left,no one was near

Lonely heart falls like a dead leaf
Lost soul burning in the heat
Searching for someone to care
But pushed in the darkness of despair

Last hope of life dies
In the heat of biting lies
Where to go?
What to know?
What time has done to her
Leaving everything blurred

If love had to come to her
Was it ever to be meant?
Can these questions and search ever end!
Will the road to happiness mend?

Can lord answer why was she hurt,why so much pain?
Will these questions be lost in the blood rain!
Her quest seems to be unheard
She will die hurt

If life comes back
She won't take a chance
From her ashes will rise hate
For the one who played the game

Lost soul and lonely heart says her last goodbye
She has lost the will to give life a try
!



Thursday, June 28, 2007

Till then i will wait..wait for my fate...!











Tears fall down endlessly,
when the time passes by unsteadily.
Words of mistrust have broken my wings
I am forgetting,how i use to sing
I had walked with you in every way,
You made me smile,you made me stay.
A wind of doubt took you so far
I'm losing my spirit at every hour.
Standing alone with my saving grace.
Love and truth in both hands,
This is all i can say,
I am here to stay.
Love is losing it's light
I have walked alone in darkness,not this time!
My heart is bleeding like a mad river,
Aching for your touch,oh my healer.
If,the healer turns away,
Poor sipirt becomes a prey.
Love i hold inside is strong
It's the time making things wrong.
I am broken but won't fall down
Cos i hope,you'll sing that love song.
Time may have blinded your faith
But soon you will find your way
I am standing here for you my love...
Till then i will wait
..wait for my fate...!

Music of our life.....









Was sitting alone on the shores of hope
Clumsily playing my guitar
An unknown melody feathered the pinyons heart
Took me close,close to your heart.

Like dew drops,words use to disappear,
But,all changed when you came near
Never knew,one could change the sad chords,
Brought a happy note to this lonely heart.

The day you came into my life
You shinned like the sun,on the dying rose
You nourished me,you made me alive.
You gave words to my melodies,
Closing the doors of past tragedies,
You made me laugh again
Ending my burning pain.

Now flying on the clouds of love and desire,
You have evoked a new fire.
I believe in what i am,i believe i am alive,
I believe i can fly,touch the sky,
With wings of love and music of our life.

Music of my life would have been so funny,
Without yours words and only my melodies,
I would have been empty,
If,your words hadn't shown me eternity.

When the rain will fall on the thirty land,
I know you will be near me,holding my hand.
Listening to the music of our life,
Everything will be so bright.

If,i ever go wrong,
I know you will pull me up into your arms,
Forgiving me and making me strong,
Keeping me safe from harm.

Without our beautiful song,
We will be incomplete.
So,pray to lord..
Please,let this music never end,
Let the roads of love and happiness never bend.
This is my precious gift
Thank you my lord for what you have sent.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007




MY HEART SPOKE MILLION WORDS
KNEW MY HEART WAS HURT
MILLION TEARS SPOKE MY STORY
HAD NO HOPE TO START A BRAND NEW STORY
HOPES OF STRINGES WERE DETACHED
AND MY DREAMS WERE BURNT INTO ASH
RANIBOWS OF LIFE WERE TURNED INTO BLACK
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I HAD LACKED
TURNED MYSELF INTO A DEW DROP
HOPING TO MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH
BUT WAS BURNT BY THE EVIL OF HATE
I WAS ALONE AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
I WAS BLUE,I WAS GREY
I WAS WORTHLESS SAID THEY
I WAS RED,I WAS GREEN
WAS DESTINED TO BE UNSEEN
I WAS PURPLE,I WAS YELLOW
WAS WOKEN BROKEN,WITHOUT A HELLO
WINGS OF MY FREEDOM WERE CUT
AND ALL THE DOORS TO HEAVEN WERE SHUT
THERE WERE NO IF'S AND BUT'S
I WAS TOLD ,I WAS TO BE BURNT
BURNING IN THE FLAMES OF DISGUST
I HAD NO ONE THAT I COULD TRUST
I WAS RIPPED,I WAS SCARDI WAS THROWN INTO HALF
DEAF WENT THE WORLD
NO ONE STOOD ON MY BEHALF
NO ONE HEARD MY AGONISING PAIN
ALL WERE COUNTING MY MONEY
THINKING ABOUT THEIR GAINS
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH NOT ENOUGH
THEY MADE ME SO ROUGH
BLEEDING WAS MY SOUL
WITH ALL PITS AND HOLES
BROKEN WAS MY SPIRIT
NO ONE COULD EVER SEE IT
WAS IGNORED LIKE HELL
MY INNOCENCE AND BEAUTY WAS THROWN INTO A DARK WELL
I GREW UP INTO NOBODY
WAS PUSHED BY EVERYBODY
WAS LONELY IN THE CROWD
NEVER FELT PROUD
FOR THE PERSON I HAD BECOME
WAS NOTHING BUT DUMB I CRIED TO LORD MANY TIMES
HOPING HE MIGHT SHOW ME THE SUNSHINE
WAS HOPING TO BE HEALED
HOPING TO SEE EVERYTHING CLEAN
WANTED TO BE HELD
WANTED TO FEEL SAFE
I WAS SO SCARED
LORD IF THERE IS A HOPE IN MY LIFE
SHOW ME THAT LIGHT
I AM YOUR CHILD
PUNISHED FOR NO CRIME
HOPE YOU WOULD HEAR ME ONE DAY
HOPE I WONT CRY THAT DAY
HOPE U SHOW ME THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
HOPE I CAN TURN INTO A BRIGHT LIGHT
THIS IS ONLY MY PRAYER
THAT I AM LOVED AND CARED

Saturday, June 23, 2007

MY HEART SPEAKS A STORY....!!!




USE TO SIT BETWEEN THE WALLS OF DESPAIR
HAD LOST FAITH IN EVERYONE THERE
HAD NO ONE TO CARE
HAD NO ONE TO SHARE
THE BURING PAIN INSIDE ME
WAS EATING MY SOUL,DESTROYING ME
SCARED BY ALL DECEPTIONS FROM MY FRIENDS
WANTED TO LEAVE I WANTED AN END
LOOKED FOR SOME HELP BUT ALWAYS FELL ON MY FACE
THIS IS A STORY OF MISERY THAT I HAD TO CHASE
LOOKING FOR ANSWERS IN THE DARKNESS OF THE UNKNOWN
FELT SO VUNERABLE FELT SO ALONE
WANTED TO SHOUT OUT WANTED SOMEONE TO HOLD
MY HEART USE TO BLEED BUT THE TRUTH WAS UNTOLD
USE TO FIGHT ALL MY FEELINGS
USE TO FIGHT ALL MY DESIRES
HAD TO FIGHT MY CHILDHOOD
SO THAT I COULD CARE FOR THE ONE WHO NEVER UNDERSTOOD
PEOPLE PAINTED ME BLACK AND YELLOW
HAD BEEN HURT BY MANY FELLOWS
I STOOD UP WITH BROKEN WINGS
I USE TO BE A CAGED BIRD
WHERE MY SORROWS USE TO SING
THE WORDS ONLY SPOKE OF HURT
I USE TO HATE EVERYONE
FOR WHAT THEY HAD DONE
I USE TO HATE THE ONE
WHO HAD TO SAVE ME FROM THIS SILLY RUN
HIDE UNDER COVERS
RUN FROM LOVERS
MY LIFE WAS ALL MIXED UP
I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE WHO COULD GIVE ME A HUG
I WAS STANDING AT THE END OF MY WORLD
HAD NO ONE TO CARE OR NO ONE TO HOLD
THEN ONE DAY I CAME BY YOU
WHO CHANGED MY LIFE AND TOLD ME I WILL NEVER BE BLUE
YOU SHOWED ME HOW TO LAUGH AGAIN
YOU TOLD ME NOT TO CRY YOU CURED MY PAIN
YOU GAVE ME WINGS
YOU SHOWED ME THE SKY
NOW I COULD SING
AND I COULD FLY
YOU ARE MY LIFE
YOU ARE THE FIRE
IGNITING MY SOUL
YOU ARE THE ONE I JUST WANT TO HOLD
I FEEL SO SAFE IN YOUR ARMS
YOU GIVE ME LOVE YOU KEEP ME SAFE FROM HARM
I FEEL LIKE A CHILD WITH YOU
YOU ARE MY LOVE
IT WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE
IF I HAD TO LOSE YOU
I WILL BE ALL BLUE
I ONLY LOVE YOU!!!!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Where The Wind Blows









Where the wind blows
There my heart will flow
The cool breez will comfort my soul
For i have been lost for so long
A new journey will embark
And i will be out of dark
Where dew drops will turn into smiles
Where humans will forget to cry
Where angels will bring hope
Where the sad moon will once again glow
Where the wind blows
There my heart will flow
My heartache will turn into gold
The sweet sounds of birds wil fill my soul
As i rest on the ground of peace
I learn to breath
I think about my joys and sorrows
Then think of the beautiful tomorrow
I will be able to kiss all my dreams
See all the fire flies and see them beam
Bringing a tiny hope to everyone's life
It will make me joyous and smile
Where the wind blows
My heart will flow

Friday, March 16, 2007

Light On The Path










Listen to the song of life.
Store in your memory the melody you hear.
Learn from it the lesson of harmony.
Regard earnestly all the life that surrounds you.
Learn to look intelligently into the hearts of men.
Regard most earnesty of your own heart.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

FLAME








A lonely heart never speaks up
She flickers like a flame
Hoping that she will light up a life
She puts down her pride
She lives a short glory
She hides her untold story
She never thinks of yesterday or tomorrow
She just wants to lighten up your life,
make you forget your sorrow
Giving all the hope in the world to you
She has no one but yout to turn to
With all her dying strength
She lives another run
Struggling to live upto your expectations
She still carries on with no hesitation
Not fearing the nearing death
She still stands by near your bed
Cruel winds ready to bow her life
Fighting them hard she survives
She wishes you gladness in your life
Wishing you a beautiful tomorrow
She says her last goodbye
You may forget her struggles and fight
But,she is the one who brought light in your life!!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

HEART CRY



I HAVE WALKED FOR A WHILE
I FORGOT HOW TO SMILE
THE ROSES HAVE TURNED BLUE
FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE GIRL I EVER KNEW
THE QUEST FOR LOVE NEVER ENDS
BUT THE ROAD TO LOVE HAS BENT
THE JOURNEY I EMBARKED
HAS PUSHED ME INTO DARK
THE THOUGHT OF THIS DYING SOUL
YOU COULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN
WHAT IT IS TO BE ALONE
I COULD HAVE NEVER SHOWN
TEARS I CRIED, YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER SEEN
THE DAYS I WISHED UPON A STAR THAT WE COULD EVER BE....
WILL NEVER COME TRUE
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I CRY OR BE BLUE
WHY DID I EVER FALL IN LOVE?
WHY DID I GOT SO HURT?
BLEEDING IS MY SOUL NOW
NEVER WILL TAKE ANY VOWES
CAN THERE BE LOVE AROUND?
CAN I LOSE THE LOVE I EVER FOUND?
JESUS GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON
WHEN EVERYTHING WOULD SEEM SO WRONG
STRUMMING THE MELODY OF HOPE
I WISH THIS HEART CAN COPE

LONELY HEART CRIES








THE TIME SEEMS TO BE BLACK AND WHITE
THE WORLD AROUND ME HAS LOST IT'S MIND
MY EXISTENCE STANDS WITH A QUESTION MARK
NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE FOR THE LONELY HEART!!!
THE FLOWERS I GREW HAVE LOST IT'S BEAUTY
AND MY DREAMS HAVE LOST IT'S GLORY
TIME TO START A BRAND NEW STORY!!!
WILL IT BE SAME OLD STORY???
TIMES AHEAD ARE TOUGH TO HANDLE
DETERMINATION ONLY CAN BURN THE OLD CANDLE
MY MIND NOW IS SPINNING AROUND
WILL I LOSE WHAT I HAVE FOUND?
TIME WILL SHOW ME THE PATH
WILL I BE NEAR YOU OR BE APART
WAITIN GAME ISN'T EASY
LOVE IN MY LIFE SEEMS CRAZY
THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN I WILL BE BROKEN
THERE WILL BE TIMES I WON'T BE WOKEN
BUT ALL THE STRENGTH THAT I HAVE
WILL IT TAKE ME FAR ?
TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE OLD MELODY
IS MAKING ME CRAZY
IT SOUNDS TRAGEDY
IF I COULD CHANGE THIS SONG
WILL IT BE WRONG?
GIVING IT UP ISN'T EASY
NOT MOVING ON IS REALLY CRAZY
BUT THE LONEY HEART
DOESN'T WANT TO BE APART
IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME
I SURELY WOULD HAVE MADE U MINE
SHOWN YOU THE BEAUTY OF LIFE
AND LIVED THE LOVE OF LIFE TIME
THAT CHANCE IS LOST
I AM PAYING THE COST
BURNING HEART
IS GONNA DEPART
IF YOU COULD SEE THE TEARS I CRIED
WOULD YOU HAVE STILL TRIED???

Remember







The radio is on
Playing the song of hurt
That you gave me
When u came around
Broken were my spirits
Broken was my trust
Leaving the past ain't easy
But i need to make a progress
Need to break that shell
But feel just like hell
Is this the way i am going down
There ain't anybody coming around
Your words lingering in my mind
Bruising my soul and i just can't fight
You took all the good in me
And there is nothing that now i can see
Claiming you were hurt
I was burnt
The branches of my love and care were cut
All the doors to love now seem to be shut
Dried out is my willpower now
How could you break me in that crowd?
You never believed me
Went around and put the blame on me
Was me the hunter or the hunted?
The claws of your mistrust broke me felt unwanted
You gained nothing by hurting
The one who was bleeding
All i wanted love and give love but you just haunted
The soul so pure, love was only wanted
Painted black and blue by your words
My trust and love for you was cut
Nothing is left now of this conversation
I know you want to talk but there is hesitation
But know what you did to me
My heart is bleeding
Eyes of love pleading
Never brought any comfort around
Now i am gone boy
Me no more your toy
Love is not joke
That you hurt and poke
RememberWhat goes around ….Comes around!!!

CHOICE









THERE ARE MANY ROADS I TAKE
THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT ARE AT STAKE
MY HEART IS ONE OF THEM
AND NOW EVERYTHING IS ALL DAMED
THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE I KNOW
THERE ARE MANY FACES PEOPLE SHOW
DEEP SECRETS HIDEN INSIDE ME
DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO
NEVER ENDING PAIN PULLS ME DOWN
DON'T KNOW WERE THE CURE IS
DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT WILL BE FOUND
WHAT I GOT IS IT CURSE OR BLISS?
THE QUESTION REMAINS UNSLOVED
WHEN YOUR DREAMS TURN INTO ASHES
THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ANOTHER DREAM
YOU MAY LOOK FOR SILLY CHANCES
AND LOOK OUT FOR THAT SMALL BEAM
BEING ALONE ON THIS PATH
I KNOW I HAVE LOST A LOT
I CAN'T BLAME THE GOD
BUT WONDER WHY I HAD TO TAKE IT ALL
THINGS AROUND ME ARE CRAZY
AND I DONT TAKE CARE
DAY BY DAY LIFE SEEMS LAZY
AND THERE IS NOTHING TO SHARE
I DID THINGS WRONGLY
NOW HAVE TO FACE THE MUSIC STRONGLY
CHOICES WE MAKE CAN CHANGE OUR LIFE
I WILL CHANGE IF I GOT TO SURVIVE
SOME PEOPLE ARE BLESSED
SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT
SOME TAKE REST
SOME GIVE LIFE A SHOT

Black Rose









Holding a black rose i walk upto your grave
It took me time,it took me strength to be brave
Life with you was crusifying my being
There were haunting voices and creepy feeling
Even though you left this world you still exist
Eating every being of me like a sadist
Your memories keep chilling my spine
I really thank god you are not mine
Times when i remember you there is only darkness
Beacause all that you brought was sadness
Tears fall down endlessly when i see ur face
Beacause it was you my dear who never gave me no space
Walkin on the path of self destruction
I see nothing but self deception
I dont know what to do
I dont know where to go
The pain that you gave my heart is everlasting
And the feeling of living kills me and things around me are blasting
The joy i gave you,never respected me
And the smile i owned you took away from me
I dont know who i am
Where i belong
I feel so lost and so alone
The things you said makes me feel empty
The words linger and feel you thought so dirty
Now you are gone i own my freedom
Now if you change and ever choose to come back
This girl you know,will never let you
Beacause you are that black rose of my life1

Let Da Muzik Play

Let Da Muzik Play
“It takes a part of me to create art and when i create,it's a masterpiece. My life is a masterpiece cos i choose to be my best friend and not my worst enemy. What i am today is cos of what i believe in and what choices i make.And what i am gonna be tomorrow depends not on the so called 'destiny',but my beliefs,choices and actions. People who have come and gone in my life,and people who are still in my life,I am thankful to them cos from the chapters of their lives,I learnt and I learnt from my mistakes. I am proud of every freaking fiber of my existing mind,body and soul. Everything i say or do,i am proud of who i am cos i hold no one responsible for my happiness or sadness.I hold myself. My identity is ME=Meaningfully Evolved human being and I am proud of it.!”-Thankam Kumaran

Oh Taj

Oh Taj

Wah Taj

Wah Taj

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Pour your love

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Kith n Kins

Hope of light

Hope of light

Two for Tango

Two for Tango

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The old ride

Standing in the crowd

Standing in the crowd

Happy Soul

Happy Soul

Chula

Chula

Marchin home

Marchin home

The Bull

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Thekkady

Thekkady

butterfly

butterfly

Love

Love

NeverEnding Love

NeverEnding Love

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