I am a....

City of Fire\m/, State of Revolution\m/, India

Bindaas Thankam

Bindaas Thankam
"You got to have an eye to capture life!"-Thankam Kumaran

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Conversation with my Mind!!










Sitting infront of the mirror.I look at me!!Who is this girl,who is me?My appearances have changed!!Have I?
My skin is glowing
My scars have faded
My eyes are shinning
My hair has changed
I am healthy
I am pretty
Its a victory!!!
So much has changed over the time.Have I?The outer appearances,does it have any relevance,with my inner existence?A difficult question!!!
I say....my outer appearances have changed.As my inner self is awake.!!
It is awake...it is intuned to ME,The Me who is now!!My past is past,i had let it breed over my present.I consciencely avoid it now.But,the question still stays!!
I look deep into my eyes and ask!!!Have i changed?So many questions running through my mind!!Has my spirit died?Has my soul lost it's substance?Does the innocence still breath?My eyes tell me a lot!!
I have not changed.!!
My spirit is alive.My soul is still pure.I am still innocent in many complex ways.!!
But,i ask again,have i changed?.The answer comes from my heart.Yes,U have changed...in a very subtle way.But,this change is the very reason for your pain.
What is it,what is it?
Something beautiful has died of you.I really don't know what it is!!!I feel incomplete!!
What is it?what is it?
Oh heart let me know!!!My brain speaks another languageand my heart seems so blue!!
ANSWER
You have lost self-love,my dear!!!Why,why have I?
Now,the blame game begins!!
Oh god,not again!!But it is the truth!!Love killed me,made me blue!!
Now what's next?What you want to do?Confused again!I ask..do I Choose Life or Death!!
Something inside me speaks!!
I won't let you die!!I ask why?
ANSWER
You are a life And you have a purpose!!I ask what the purpose is?
what is my life without love?What is the meaning of my existence?
Why so many battles?I am tired of people.I am tired of promises
I am tired of hopes.What is my purpose?Why my happiness doesn't count?
Why can't i be a part somebody?My heart aches for my love.I don't know how to live without it!!!I am tired of this life!!
ANSWER
The purpose is greater than love,Your existence is greater,greater than any depression,pain or deceive.You can't control anyone.One you can is YOU.If you choose to cry,you will never move on!!If you choose to smile,you will see the light!!
ah!!
Well said!!It is so easy to say all this,but difficult to imply!!!
THINKING AGAIN I SAY "its time to imply"
Why?
I have let myself go a lot!!And its time,i give respect to I.Lot of things have changed during this time..friends,approach to life,my passion,....my life!!!
But,i choose to keep one thing constant!!
Whats that?
My spirit
I will never let it die!!
I will never change for any guy!!
I will never change,to make an ego fly!!
I will not change!!!
Sometimes these self conversatios are the best answers to many unanswered problems of our life.

3 comments:

kumarr said...

"MY LIFE IS A PERSONAL POEM"
I was taken aback to read these lines......
Very young lines of the author who makes us think that thepoet musthave lived for 250 years so far!

navydevils said...

you do preposterous conversations with your mind. sum such stuff i read about in sidney sheldon/agatha christie/james hadley chase novels about ppl talkin to themselves and talkin to their alter-ego in the mirror. all such people are maniacal and carry perennial suicidal tendencies.
save urself a visit to mental institute. next time u wanna talk 2 sumbdy, come on gtalk, i will talk :-)

Gaurav said...

i takes guts to talk into the mirror.. coz only then do you actually say the truth! Its only when you are alone that you are truly yourself.. else the world forces you to be someone else (in a sweet twisted manner)..
'Conversations with my Mind'.. you've got it right girl!

Let Da Muzik Play

Let Da Muzik Play
“It takes a part of me to create art and when i create,it's a masterpiece. My life is a masterpiece cos i choose to be my best friend and not my worst enemy. What i am today is cos of what i believe in and what choices i make.And what i am gonna be tomorrow depends not on the so called 'destiny',but my beliefs,choices and actions. People who have come and gone in my life,and people who are still in my life,I am thankful to them cos from the chapters of their lives,I learnt and I learnt from my mistakes. I am proud of every freaking fiber of my existing mind,body and soul. Everything i say or do,i am proud of who i am cos i hold no one responsible for my happiness or sadness.I hold myself. My identity is ME=Meaningfully Evolved human being and I am proud of it.!”-Thankam Kumaran

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